guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
