This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
