"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
