their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
