eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
