what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
