They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
