Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
