I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
