in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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