i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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