he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
