I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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