I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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