So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
