How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
