he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize
