Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
