Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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