Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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