winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
