Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
