We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
