Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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