moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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