do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize