I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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