One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
