remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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