Apparently you make a good broom.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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