she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
