Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
