i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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