Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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