It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He did a backflip because drugs
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize