it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize