1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The struggles of a small town man whore
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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