It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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