The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
