I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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