I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hippo gnu deer
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
