absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
