how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
being pregnant is like rehab
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
