he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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