JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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