Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
