No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
