the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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