do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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