Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
