I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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