do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
