Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
