I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
