All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Who died my cat blue again?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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