ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Drake has all the answers
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
