My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
