Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My feet surprised me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
