after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
