Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
