Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
