girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
