Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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