just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
there is glitter all over my balls
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