Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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